*Read at your own risk!*
I've honestly had enough of this damn thing. I've been working on it for so long and working so hard and it seems like it's never ending. I know I was told not to take the revision too personally, but I keep thinking to myself, "Why the hell weren't any of these issue caught 6 months ago?"
That said, I'll go into a bit more detail about why I'm so upset. For those of you reading this blog for the first time, you should know that I've been doing this thing for a long time. I wasted a good deal of time wondering what my thesis topic should be and not knowing how really to get started. Then wasted more time writing some research papers hoping to get a publication. We all know what a disaster that turned out to be.
I did a crap load of programming last semester so that I could get some results for my thesis and fill out the final chapters this semester. What I didn't know what happening was that if I didn't check in with my advisor every once in a while to discuss my progress, I was going to get a less than perfect review for the semester. I was so upset. Soooooooo very upset. The worst part is that I was trying not to be a jerk and bother my advisor when there really was no need to. I was trying not to be pushy. I didn't want my advisor to think I needed all the attention or I needed a ton of help.
When I did send emails, some went unanswered. Turns out that they were answered, but I just didn't get them. I've never had a problem with my gmail account receiving or sending emails. Did I deserve a less then satisfactory report for that semester? I strongly believe I didn't. But As a student, you don't really have grounds to write status reports about your advisor. The responsibility seems to lie solely on the student to keep in touch with the advisor. Email malfunctions don't mean sh*t. Good luck trying to challenge one of those reports.
Even though that was really a turning point for me in this grad school thing, I realized there was nothing I could do and the only thing left to do is to just keep working hard on the thesis. This brings me to what I'm really upset about.
Setting a bloody defense date!
Close friends of mine know I've been setting personal defense dates and telling people. I'm a fudging moron. I shouldn't say anything. The most recent time this had happened was by far the most heartbreaking. I was told that end of March would be the approximate defense date. I was effing excited. Jumping all over the place, telling family members. You name it, I did it. I guess you can tell it's 10 days into April and I haven't defended yet. That's because I was told last last week that I would need "another three weeks" to get revisions done.
Just to give you an idea of how crushed I was, have you ever told a dog that you would take him/her for a walk, and then not taken the dog for the walk? Multiply how that dog feels by 10, and then add a summer semester registration and tuition payment. Yes, I will be registering for summer semester. Ahhh fudge.
Now I've probably read a full 3 computer science thesis in preparation for mine, and I haven't seen anything as detailed or content rich as mine thesis is as of this moment. I thought I was in the bounds of how a typical U of G M.Sc. CIS thesis was suppose to be, so I kept writing in hopes of just getting to the end.
So how do I feel right now? Honestly, I feel like I'm being teased and picked on. Like I'm being treated like some punk who has bottomless pockets and can afford to keep paying the U of G thousands of dollars because my thesis isn't IEEE publication ready. Don't get me wrong. My thesis does have holes in it that I still need to work on, but a lot of these problems I'm seeing in the revisions could have been fixed 6 months ago. Why weren't they found a while back? I didn't change much in the older chapters. Other than grammar and spelling. It was as if my thesis had never been read before :(
I'm fully qualified to work at many places (places that have offered me jobs over and over again), but can't simply because they want someone full time. I can't do full time. When I do get part time work, they push me to work full time hours, and my thesis suffers as a result. It's an endless cycle of crap that I have to go through simply because of this thesis. It's really getting on my last nerve.
The part time job I have now, I'm going to ask them for time off just so I can finish this thesis. What will I do for money? The tax man should drop some change in my account, and I'll probably just do a Visa cash advance.
Being broke, living with your parents, and doing a thesis you hate. Isn't life great?